Arthur Smith’s 10 proverbs and homilies for a better life

 
1. Realise that maybe, just maybe, the hokey cokey is what it’s all 
about.
 
2. Remember what Lothian council have decreed: ‘Tuesdays and 
Fridays are rubbish days.’
 
3. The early bird catches the worm. So if you are a worm (and you 
know that you are) then always be late.
 
4. Love thy neighbour but not the person next door. He’s a bit odd.
 
6. You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it throw Zarah 
Phillips in.
 
7. If at first you don’t succeed then sky diving’s not for you.
.
8. Always remember you are unique. Just like everybody else.
 
9. Never say anything unless what you have to say is better than 
silence
 
10.