I have gone from being a no merch man to being a man with some stupid merch which no-one buys. To whit. I have done a  CD. It contains some bits from Arthur Smith Sings Leonard Cohen, Arthur Smith’s Dante’s inferno (both shows I did in the West End) it also has a short story I wrote, a bit of the
2 terrible singles my band from the early eighties released, a speech I made on my 50th birthday. And a very strange song called ‘I’ve seen your arse.’ You can buy my Cd
Here and become one of 8 people in the world who own one.Also my autobiography is out on May 7th
 
Also my old clothes. Don’t you see it’s real? Send cash and get a hilarious package you never need open and can give to someone with a sense of humour. So far we’ve sold 4.

ARTHUR SMITH CD.

Six high quality Smith hits;

THE ARTHUR SMITH BESPOKE ORIGINAL RANGE, FULL OUTFIT, ONLY £15;

The items of clothing inside this high quality packaging come with the ultimate guarantee of quality; they have been chosen and worn by Arthur Smith. The cloth has been woven by a team of reputable artisans in the Cotswolds and may include tweed, cotton, or bri nylon, all guaranteed fire proof.
 
The Arthur Smith Bespoke Original is always a classic outfit that is perfect for all occasions and looks equally good on both sexes. Wearing one is uniquely satisfying and will surely improve your standing among your more sophisticated friends. Indulge yourself or buy one now for a friend and show your appreciation for their rarefied sense of style.

 

THE ARTHUR SMITH CRAPPY OLD PHOTOS TURNED INTO POSTCARDS RANGE, ONLY £1.50 FOR 3;

These are Arthur Smith's genuine crappy old photos that have been turned into luxury postcards by South London's top postcard technicians;